sometimes life is not fair...whoever agreed with me raised your hand!

hmmm,,,

where do i have to begin??

ok,,,

today i met Manohara in Plasa Semanggi (a.ka Plangi)....

she is beautiful, charming, tall, smart (maybe), rich, has beautiful hair, singkat kata dia flawless..

and she's only 17 or maybe 18~!!!!!!!!

she's younger than me!!!!!!!!!

and yess!!!yess!!!!!!!! i envy her!!!

before that i saw a magazine,,,and on the cover theres kimmy,,kimmy jayanti,,,,

she's the most beautiful dark skinned girl i have ever seen,,she's edgy,,she'sBEAUTIFUL on that magazine cover!!!!!

and yesssss!!! she's younger than me!!!

and as i pass the book store by i saw me,,,,in the mirror...

22 years old,,fat,,short,,ugly,,unemployed,,not talented girl,,

singkat kata pathetic...

gw pikir gw bisa lupain ajah pikiran gw pas gw ngeliat ke kaca,,,

and as i go by,,,,ternyata gw msih mikirin hal itu,,,sampe gw kesel bgt dan gw menghela nafas panjang dan "agak sedikit berteriak": "haaahh!!!!!!" di depan sport station sampe kedua teman gw yaitu, maria dan uli shock dan pasang muka bingung,,,tampa mereka harus ngomong jgua gw bisa nebak apa yang ada di dalem kepala mereka...pasti mereka mikir ginih: "lo kenape dy?!?! tiba2 tereak gituh?!?!"

dan tiba2 mereka ngomong apa yang ada di pikiran mereka ituh....

dan gw jawab: " hidup itu ga adil!!bner2 ga adil!! tadi barusan kita liat kimmy as a model for a magazine cover!! she's only 17 or 18...an yet she's already earn her own money, modelling as her job ( which I think fun), she's beautiful, and me!!! look at me!!! gw umur 22 taon, ga bisa apa2, ga ber-talenta apa2, belon lulus, belom kerja dan ga bisa menghasilkan apa2!!!!

lalu uli berkata " HEH!!!!! bukan cuman lo doank yah yang kaya' mikir kaya' gitu!! gw juga!!

mereka pergi pagi pulang malem ada hasilnya,,lah kita!!!!!! pergi pagi pulang malem malah ngabisin duit!! bukan ngehasilin duit kaya' mereka!!!!"

and then next we saw manoharce!!!!!

tambah marah lagi lah kita!ghghaghaghaghaghaghaghagahgahgahaaaa

and i think,,,hey...life is not fair,,,

kenapa yah orang2 sehebat itu,,,dan ketika melihat ke diri ndiri kita bilang kowq gw ginih yah???

kenapa gw ga bisa kaya' mereka yah???ato mungkin marah dan tereak kaya' yang gw lakuin tadi..

tp pas ge udah nyampe kost,,gw berpikir,,kenapa seyh gw ga bersyukur bgt dengan apa yang uah gw dapet,,,

walaupun gw pendek,,gendut,,jelek,,belom lulus,, belom berpenghasilan,,

tp gw nyaman dengan apa yg gw dapet di dunia,, gw ga punya beban moral harus jaga nama besar gw didepan banyak orang banyak yang kenal gw,,, ato dalam konteks mereka se-Indonesia!! i don't have that responsibility,,,

i have a fun & loving family that loves me whoever i am,,and whatever i want (but of course in a positive way),, i have many friends that i love so much and maybe they love me so much!!!!!!!

and i'm comfortable being with them!!

singkat kata "I LOVE MY LIFE!! I LOVE THE FAT ME!!! I LOVE ME,, I LOVE MYSELF!!!!"

gw udah dikasih Tuhan tubuh yang sehat,,ga disilet2,,ga digebukin sama suami,, walaupun gendut gw ga da penyakit yg bikin gw harus ke rumah sakit (amit-amit *knock on the wood*)

kenapa seyh gw GA BERSYUKUR?????

sambil gw ngetik post ini gw akhirnya nyadar..

i don't care being rich or beautful or pretty or skinny or tall,,,

i love me the way i am!! thank God!!!! :D